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Tango Thoughts 7/7/2019

Dealing with Insecurities at a Milonga…

It’s not you, it’s everyone. We all feel some level of insecurity going to a milonga.
If you’re a lead, there is the chance that a follower might say no. Or maybe you feel like you don’t know very much.

If you’re a follower, you might not be asked, or worse yet, you won’t be able to follow the leader if you do get asked.

Don’t worry, you are not alone. Here are some thoughts that might help you overcome your anxiety.

First, you’re going to arrive at the Milonga with the skills that you brought. You’re not going to magically improve in the next 10 minutes before you dance with your first partner. Make peace with it and accept yourself.

Next, there will always be better dancers than you. Always. Which is to say, if you feel insecure, join the club? And that really good dancer you see… There is someone better than him (or her).

Moreover, you’re might feel a sense of intimidation. This is normal. Think of it this way, if you feel intimidated, it’s your body telling you that you have something to do.

Leaders, start off slowly with what you know for sure. If that’s just Basic Construction, so be it. Do that several times until you get comfortable and slowly add more in.

Followers, concentrate on what it feels like instead of trying to guess what’s being led. After all, it’s a conversation and if you interpret it differently, it’s up to the leader to make something out of it.

MOST IMPORTANTLY – DO NOT APOLOGIZE! And, if you’re new, don’t invite instruction. There will come a day when you are better and that instruction will no longer be welcome. Remember, at a Milonga, you dance what you know and at a Practica, you practice what you don’t know.

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